Last week, we touched on some of the distorted views connected to submission in marriage. If you missed the introduction to this series, you can find it here.
Today, we are going to address 5 myths that keep wives from practicing the act of submission towards their husbands:
Myth #1. Oppression: Many wives (or women) believe that if they yield to their husbands, they are giving up their individual freedom.
Truth #1: We are consenting to our spouses because we desire to honor God in our marriages. This does not mean we are inferior; God has given us a protective covering through the authority of our husbands. Furthermore, God is a God of order. In his perfect design of the family, He has given our husband’s the great responsibility of being the head.
Finally, God loved us so much, He allowed Jesus to demonstrate for us the ultimate example of submission:
5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. –Philippians 2:5-8
Myth #2. Fear: The ideal of being submissive causes women to act out in fear of being in bondage. Instead of accepting our husband as an authoritative figure, we exert our own rights in the marriage due to the anxiety of being taken advantage of.
Truth #2: For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Fear is not of God. When we submit to our husbands we are obeying the will of God. Therefore, God is our greatest protection. God has also given our husbands instruction as the leader of the family, as we are to submit, our Husbands are to love us as Christ loved the church.
Myth #3. Become a “Silent Sufferer:” Quietly enduring abuse or other sinful actions is practicing submission.
Truth #3: It is unbiblical to passively endure sin and call it “submission.”. The word of God has given us instruction and responsibility to approach our spouses if they sin against us. In her book, The Excellent Wife, Martha Peace gives “Eight Resources For the Wife’s Protection:”
- Learn to Communicate Biblically. (Proverbs 16:23)
- Overcome Evil With Good. (Romans 12:21)
- Make A Biblical Appeal. (Proverbs 16:21)
- Give A Biblical Reproof. (Luke 17:3)
- Respond Biblically To Foolish Demands. (Proverbs 26:4-5)
- Seek Godly Counsel. (Proverbs 24:6)
- Church Discipline (Matthew 18:15)
- Involve the Governing Authorities. (Romans 13:1)
If you are interested in learning more, I encourage you to purchase this book; it is a wonderful resource for Christian wives.
Myth #4. Close Your Mouth: Submission is demonstrated best by only speaking when spoken to by your husband. Remaining silent will keep a peaceful marriage.
Truth #4: Again, God did not create us to be inferior to our husbands, we are actually equals, “joint heirs of grace,” with distinct roles that produce a prosperous union before God. Quietness is a skill, not a burden. The Bible speaks well of meekness. Using proper judgment on when and how to speak to our husbands is an art that should be sought after, as it is pleasing to God.
1 Peter 3:3-5 Says:
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Emphasis Added
Taming our tongues is probably one of the hardest areas to get under control. However, responding and speaking to our husbands in a loving and edifying tone will help build him up, thus producing a fruitful marriage.
Myth #5. Approval from Others: I cannot submit because my parents or friends do not agree.
Truth #5: If you are a believer, than you have a responsibility to follow God’s Word and trust in Him. Biblical submission is for our benefit, as mentioned above; it is a part of God’s perfect order for family. We will be successful in our marriages if we follow His commands, and not man.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
Acknowledging that our sovereign God created and exemplified submission, provides us with the confidence and hope to display humility in our own marriages.
Did you have a false understanding of submission? What do you think about submission after reading this post? Leave your comments below.